The Idol's Guide to becoming Psychic
by Tusk Act IV
Summary: Allow the Ultimate Idol, Maizono Sayaka, teach you the tips and trips on gaining psychic powers! Includes three abilities, methods on gaining them, and even tips on falling in love!


**Dicsclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters. This is based on an ssnote thread 舞園「エスパーになった理由ですか」**

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Hey there!

This is your favorite idol Maizono Sayaka and I'd like to first thank you for purchasing this book. Whether you're a fan, you're a psychic enthisaiast, or just plain bored, I'd like to thank you for taking your time to hear what I have to say.

And yes, psychic powers are real. It may shock you but I have them myself and in this book I'll tell you how to gain new ones every day. Isn't that exciting? And don't worry, you don't have to be an idol to be an psychic. However, if you do want to gain the powers of the mind, there is one secret ingredient to add to our mix.

Do you know what it is? Can you guess?

It's love, of course!

And not just any love. It should be real true love. So here's my disclaimer: If this book doesn't work for you, than your love clearly isn't strong enough! You just need love! Love is the answer as cheesy as it sounds.

And, yes, you may be surprised that an idol could fall in love. But my love was even before I was an idol, an Ultimate one, at least.

No, my love started all the way back in middle school...

Also, all names, descriptions, and places used are fictional and purely coincidental. I just picked a random name, an average one, to fill in for my chosen beloved.

Anyways, it was back in middle school when I first gained my powers.

I remember his first words back then.

"Jeez, crane-san. Don't struggle too much!"

He was shorter than average. He had a stick of hair that stood out the top of his head. In every way, he was just an ordinary boy.

"Hey, let me help you!"

He was trying to free a crane that got caught in the school pool. It was a large one that indimiddated most of the kids away yet he went up to it. The bird wasn't even hepful in the slightest, struggling and pecking away, as he helped it out but his eyes were still so gentle.

His name was Naegi Makoto.

Soon, I noticed I started watching Naegi-kun from afar, wanting to get even a small glimpse. I watched him smile, get angry, frown, sleep, read, and many more various faces. I couldn't get enough

I wanted to see him more. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to smell him. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to lick him. I wanted to embrace him.

I wanted to know more about Naegi-kun more than anything, more than anyone.

But how?

The question plagued me for nights. It was hard to approach him without any reason yet.

But then, one night, I thought of an answer.

Why don't I just learn Telepathy?

[Telepathy: the supposed communication of thoughts or ideas by means other than the known senses.]

At that time, I couldn't talk to boys because of my career as an idol. It was an earlier time and I couldn't risk it. So I decided the only way to get to know Naegi-kun was through learning telapathy.

There was no other way. I was also too shy to talk to Naegi-kun back then. Just thinking of him dyed my cheeks red back then. I still didn't have the control I have today.

Anyways, I decided to aquire telepathic powers. If there's one thing being an idol has thought me, it was that if you wanted to do something whether to sing, dance, or read minds, all you had to do was practice, practice, practice.

In the beginning, I spent the whole day thinking about Naegi-kun's face. Unfortunately, I was too shy to take a picture of him. I compromised by recording his voice, editing it into my group's songs and then listening to it before rehearsals.

And so whenever he talked, I'd unconsciously think of him smiling.

He'd talk to me even when I was sleeping, during classess, before concerts, and even in the bath. I'd record different phrases, sounds, grunts, syllabes, anything I could use.

By then, his voice in my mind became second nature. I could easily hear him say anything I thought of. However, I wasn't just satisfied with that. So I continued to practice further and further until one day...

"Oh, today's horoscope was pretty awful."

It happened! I was so delighted that I was finally suceceded in grasping his voice, the genuine voice of his heart!

At that moment, my time as a Psychic had begun.

**LINE**

It was amazing what love could do. It was love that made it possible. Love unlocks your potential to do anything. Love is infinite.

That was why I wasn't satisfied.

While I could hear and read Naegi-kun's inner voice, I could only read it when I was near him.

So I always wanted to see him.

I wanted to feel him at any time.

Love makes you greedy and nothing is greedier than a maiden in love. My busy schedule kept me away from him, too much. I wanted to see him any time and anywhere. So, of course, I went to the next logical conclusion.

I decided to learn Clairvoyance.

[Clairvoyance: The supposed faculty of perceiving things or events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact]

You see, if I had such an ability, I'd be able to see him whereever I went. Combine that with my telepathy, and I could read Naegi-kun's thoughts at any time too!

So I then decided to start practicing it by taking pictures.

By then, I was getting a decent amount of royalties, so I used that up to by an expensive camera. For starters, I snuck up close to his house and took pictures of Naegi-kun going to and from the school. Then I decorated the walls of my room with his face and body so I had a constant and easy access to his image.

With that done, I used my imagination to think up of different scenarios. His figure as he ate rice, him studying, sleeping, falling down, and many many more.

Everyday I thought of him, once in a while using the pictures I took with my camera for reference. By the way, the figure of Naegi-kun listening to my CD while laughing along is too cute! I pasted a life-sized photo of it on the ceiling.

Before I knew it, whenever I thought of him, he would appear in front of me.

One day, after an intense practice session, I decided to take a break and close my eyes. And then, without thinking about it, and image appeared on my eyelids.

"Whew, this antenna sure is hard to shampoo. Why won't it go down?"

Finally, I saw an image of him that wasn't over through the camera.

I was so happy I started crying.

And so begun our days of cohabilitation.

**LINE**

You may be thinking how can we be living together when we don't sleep under the same roof? Please. You see when he eats, I start eating at the same time. When he goes to the bath, I also take one. When he sleeps, I'm also lying down watching him.

Isn't that pretty much the same thing?

However, as I've said before: Love is greedy. A maiden in love, especially.

And so even though being able to see and hear Naegi-kun at anytime and place brought me great joy and satisfaction, I was also left wanting. Because every time I saw him, I began to want to know more and more about him. Even more than just what he was doing or thinking at the time.

I have to wonder if I've always been such a greedy person or did my love for him change me?

Anywasys, I wanted to know more about Naegi-kun. I wanted to know things that he may not even know himself.

So one day I was thinking about such a thing as one should when I chanced upon him eating some deliscious looking curry rice. That was when I had the idea.

That's right! Why don't I just learn psychometry?

[Psychometry: a form of extrasensory perception characterized by the claimed ability to make relevant associations from an object of unknown history by making physical contact with that object.]

With such an ability, I'd be able to see the memory that remains within an object. If I had this power, I could see a side of him that nobody else knows about.

The first step to my training was to find a way into his house. It was surprisingly easy through the power of my idol network. My goal was to find some of his old clothes and underwear then replace then with brand new ones of the same kind.

I took his parka to my nose and sniffed it, allowing the electryfying aroma to course through my body. I repeated smelling it tens of thousands of times. To go even further, I passed my arms through the sleeves while thinking of what he'd be feeling as he wore it. I imagined Naegi-kin would put it on gently, softly, and above all else, with love. I was sure he loved this jacket.

And while I was doing that, I was able to tell my thoughts and feelings for him were able to connect to the parka I was wearing.

That's how I got the hang of doing psychometry. I also practiced with other things Naegi-kun has both worn and used. And then after some time, I was finally able to see the results of my training.

One day, when Naegi-kun's family all left their hous, I had a bad feeling that a thief or a suspiscious person would enter and break in, and so with a key I had earlier dupliated, I started to organize his things. You see, it's an important Japanese virtue for a future bride and daughter-in-law to be able to help her husband even if he doesn't know it and so I've been helping clean his room.

Of course, to practice my psychometry, I replaced his clothes, his pens, his books, his games and many other things with new ones. And so when I took them all home, I got a better feel for Naegi-kun's room.

I was able to learn a lot from his personal belongings even if they were things I already knew such as how wonderful a person he was or how he was a bit clumsy.

When I used psychometry on his chopsticks and spoon, the memories of the patterns on his tongue stimulated my chest. Nobody knew about it, not even Naegi-kun himself. I was touched from the bottom of my heat when I felt his warmth and fell into many sweet dreams of Naegi-kun kissing me, his soft lips falling on my own.

Which apparently were the memories of his pillow I had been sleeping with.

Honestly, it was a hard time learning psychometry but I feel like it was all worth it for that moment

**LINE**

And there you have it! With these excercises, you too will be able to become a psychich and gain more abilities. However, love has no boundaries much like a maiden in love is always greedy. There is still plenty more to learn in succeeding volumes!

Powers such as

-Invisibility

-Telekinisis

-Astral Projection

-Posession

-Flight

-Thoughtography

-And many more!

And don't think you'll be done with your previous ones too. There are still many nuances to previous powers such as forced telapathy between two people or telepathic broadcasting!

Join me next time as I detail my first true meeting with Naegi-kun and our times at Hope's Peak. I'd also detail my tales of dealing with stalkers like Kirigiri-san and Ikusaba-san.

I mean, how rude is it to stalk someone, right?

Till next time!

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**AN: I was reading random stuff and stumbled upon this. Unfortunately, the poster stopped at 3 powers then went full crack fic. Still pretty fun though. I liked how there was "logic" with the development. I have some ideas where to go after as I'm a fan of Saiki but I we'll see if they come to fruition. Maybe even a full fic next time.  
**

**Man, I'm on a Naegizono roll this month. And it's not even close to Tanabata.**


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